Divorce kind of upsets your whole fruit cart; your hopes, your assumptions, your schedule, your beliefs.
So what do we BAD women do, when faced with this chencge? WE PLANT MORE FRUIT.
A little background on me: I was married at 20 because I wanted (as my mother said between clenched teeth) "Little House on the Prairie" (she didn't like him much). No, what I wanted was sex. And freedom. See, I've always craved, needed, thrived on feeling FREE. I'm odd. I like to do weird things, like go tramp thru the woods to see a cave, or sneak into an abandoned plantation house, or go to a revival at a snake handling church. I wanted to sleep with my boyfriend which my mother convinced me would instantly result in pregnancy even with birth control. So,I married #1.
Divorced three years later, Iscrimped and scraped and tried to glue ends together to pay my bills while paying day care for my daughter and trying to have a social life. #2 was someone Ihad known all my life but who had always been one of those guys you just swoon over from afar. He offered (I thought) financial security and a lovely family of inlaws. He also ended up offering me a glimpse into the life of an alcoholic, pot smoking closet homosexual (we had sex TWICE the first year we were married,(thankfully creating my daughter the second time). I hung on for 5 years and swore never ever would I live with or marry another man and deal with his issues 24/7. this guy was so weird he woudl not change clothes at the gym and I think back now on that and wonder if maybe he was afraid he would get an erection. Totally wack.
The third one. What can I say. 6'6 hunk of burnin love. Handsome, hardworking, well endowed and totally smitten by and committed to me and my children. I nearly died 9 days after our small wedding and he totally took charge of everything and everybody for six months. Built us my dream farm. Then his mother died and the snakes in his head started coming out of his ears. He became a raging bull on steroids, a manic moose. He cheated with the MOST awful white trash nasty young ho.I was beyond devastated. I had all my energy, all my money, and all my heart invested in this marriage. i was such a fool for love
I left one night after a particulary explosive temper tantrum of his and it was The End of my rope. No farm, no money, no diamonds and no vacations were worth one more day walking on broken glass. I like myself more than to live like that. Bye bye Mr Well Endowed Loverboy. Love of my life and demolisher of my heart.
BAD women are survivors.
A year later, having made peace with this person and forgiving him for being unfaithful and being the bull on steroids and basically for effing his entire life up because of his temper and his insecurities, here I am. Grateful. Happy. At peace. Living in a wonderful rental house that I can decorate just like I LIKE IT. I have my dogs. I have my horse. I've made new friends. I have my church and I have my children nearby. I'm blooming where I've been planted.
You need three things in order to bloom: You need friends, you need a routine and you need a job.
Dig up and throw away anything and everything that makes you sad. We don't look pretty when we're sad. Sad feels like an itchy Hudson Bay blanket in August. So don't cover yourself in Sad.
Accept that this is God's plan for this time in your life. Really accept it. You can ask Him why, and gnash your teeth and tell Him it's just not fair and how in the hell are you going to pay your bills and take care of your children and keep your job - or find a job - and that nothing will ever be good again. And He will nod his head and listen, and smile, because He can see what is ahead for you.
Plant yourself, let God water you with His blessings, and you will bloom.
i promise.
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